AAAAAH!!!!!

I FEEL INSANELY SHITTY!!!! I MISS HIM SOOO MUCH.... i want to call him... i want to sprint from bath to bristol to find him... i want to tell him how i'll do anything i can to be with him... but i can't... i have to smile and say i'm fine and talk to my family as if he never existed... because as far as they know he didn't... i miss him and it's only been a week.... ONE WEEK... and i'm dying over here... how the hell am i suppose to do this.... someone please tell me... give a short cut or a cheat to just skip the pain bit and get to the bit where i can read the old texts he sent me without bursting into tears... and it doesnt help that he won't reply to the text i sent him nearly an hour ago... AAAAAH!!! i can't do this... i've been in my room crying for literally HOURS... i'm still not out of tears... i don't wan't to be this person... it SUCKS!!!